What does the word home really mean? I’m sure some of the first things that come to your mind are your house, maybe your state, or maybe your family and friends, but all these things are in fact not what I believe home truly is.
One thing I’ve realized since my return to Minnesota is that although I didn’t really have what one may deem a “home” in the 9 months while I was travelling the world, I felt more at home than I ever have in my entire life. Yes, I started the trip off with almost 40 strangers, and yes, every few weeks I travelled to places I had never been before, but at each new place I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging. You see, everywhere I went I was at home, because my home isn’t based on a place or other people but on being in the Father’s presence no matter where I am or who I’m with.
I remember one night during my second month on the Race, I was sitting in a Chapel running the lyrics from “Out of Hiding” by Steffany Gretzinger over and over in my head. The specific lyrics that stuck out to me were “there’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore, you’re not far from home”. And as I sat there with my eyes closed on a wooden bench surrounded by silence, I couldn’t quite figure out what it meant. What home was it talking about? As I continued to let it run through my head, I heard the Lord’s voice tell me “I am your home”. It suddenly became so evident to me.
You see a true home is a place where you go to find rest and refill, it is a place in which you find comfort, it is where you store the things your heart values, where you long to be when you feel stressed and overwhelmed, where you can laugh and cry freely, and where you always return no matter what’s going on in life. No earthly home can promise to always provide these things.
At that time on my trip I realized I was keeping Jesus at arms length because I didn’t believe I could find all those things in Him. He wanted me to put down my defenses and realize that He wants to hold me tightly in His arms because those arms are my home. He wants to hold what my heart treasures, for me to find comfort in Him and His love for me above all, to rest in and be filled by Him. He wants to be a place where I can go to laugh and dance and celebrate, but also a place where I can curl up and cry while He holds me. He wants me to always return to Him no matter what may be going on around me.
As I went on from that chapel and through the following months of the trip, I began to let the Lord be my home. I started bringing every emotion to Him: anger, frustration, sadness, excitement, joy. And He would sit there with me and share in whatever emotion I was feeling. I also opened my hands and started letting Him hold the things that my heart treasured whether that was my dreams and hopes, my relationships, or my future plans.
My surroundings were constantly changing on the Race, and around every corner there always seemed to be new people, places, and endeavors, but I started getting to the point where instead of the changing circumstances around me making me want to run home, being at home with the Lord made me want to run back into the world because I knew where I was rooted.
Now that I’m back in the States this truth has become even more real to me than it was on the Race. There is a lot of unknown ahead of me, but no matter what places the Lord is going to lead me to and the things I’ll have to face along the way, I know all I need to know: I’ll always be home no matter where I am.
I’m also super excited to show you guys a song I just wrote based on this idea of home! It’s from God’s perspective and is what I imagine Him to be telling me in the times I go looking for belonging in the world. If you want to hear it, click the link below!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bha9VQPbKM
Fundraising update: I’ve officially reached my first goal of $2,000! I cannot thank you guys enough for anything you contributed! I leave for Georgia in 2 days and thus will begin my 5 months of discipleship and leadership school training! That being said, I still have 2/3 of my final goal to reach, so if you would be willing to consider supporting me in whatever way you can I would appreciate it more than you know!
Thank you so much for reading, and please subscribe if you want to be notified when I post! I love you all and can’t wait to share more of what the Lord is walking me through!
-Abby
